Bert
I’m part of the whole.
“You drive hard to get yourself ahead
and you want to be better than everyone
else when you are young; and the more
you live the more you find that that’s not
as important as you think. The fact is, as
you get older you don’t compete as much.
You don’t have to compete as much. Now,
aging is no fun. You lose a lot - you lose
people, you lose your health, but again
you gain otherwise. You find that you have
more time to look around. See life. See
how beautiful it is. See a tree as it really is.
And the same even with human beings;
being around my family. I felt something
was wrong but I couldn’t lay my finger on
it and when I finally had the stroke I saw
exactly what happened, that he raped
me when I was four years old. I always
thought something was wrong with me
but I couldn’t put my finger on it and then
suddenly I saw what happened to me
and I understood. And understood the
pain that I went through and it made me
feel so much more relieved. Tremendous
relief. I started to live more intensely.
This happened when I was 72. That
I feel a draw to them much more and I
doesn’t give me much years. I’m sick
because I know a little better now.
to forget that. But the feeling of giving
feel I can identify with them a little better
The closeness of human beings to one
another and the beauty of it all is something that has been fairly new with me. I
had a very great deal of difficult with my
parents and I couldn’t stand the fact of
as a dog, I know that, and I try my best
up life now is very hard because it’s too
beautiful. I find myself becoming part
of that beauty. It’s in me. I don’t believe
I am that important anymore, but I am
part of the whole.”
Bert and I met at the Yountville VA Medical Center where he had been moved onto
hospice care due to congestive heart failure. On our first meeting Bert gave me