I have observed in hospice that the more
prepared people are for death, the better
their experience of the death process.
Identities and accomplishments that had
seemed so solid and important begin to
slip away. It is as if they are returning to
who they are as souls. My patients inspire
me to realize that so much of what I busy
myself with and think about in my life is
actually superficial. The more I can be
aware that I am a soul, the easier it is to
let go of all the things that are illusions,
all the attachments that create an identity
that dies.
Today everyone has the opportunity to
be more informed and better prepared
to die. We have more resources offering
opportunities to learn and talk about
death and dying. Baby boomers will be
better prepared for death because of these
opportunities. And as younger generations
participate in the conscious death
movement, a more enlightened relationship
with death will exponentially grow.
I advise people to consider what they
want at the end of life and to prepare their
advance directives but, honestly, I don't
care that much. I will be fine in a hospital,
fine if I am home. If my family is with me,
great; but I’m okay if they can't be there.
I’m okay if I'm in a nursing home. I'm not
worrying about it any more. In my own
heart, I will be fine no matter how things
unfold because I understand what the
process is and I just trust it will be perfect.
I will prepare a living will and advance
directive so that medical personnel will
have guidelines to follow and my family
will have an idea. But I am not worried
about anything.
I feel that my Dad has been my silent
partner.
KAREN WYATT, MD
WWW.KARENWYATTMD.COM • WWW.EOLUNIVERSITY.COM
68 | ART OF DYING
WHAT REALLY MATTERS
I became a student of death and dying as a hospice
doctor. While I knew about pain and symptom
management, I was learning about death itself
from my patients.. They helped me understand
impermanence; the fact that everything dies,
everything changes.. They taught me how to
practice forgiveness because so many were
working on forgiveness. Many patients said to me,
‘Why do I have so much wisdom now, when I’m
only going to be alive for a few days?’ ‘Why do I
have this insight, this way of seeing things when
I’m not going to be here to share it?’ I realized I
could be the dying’s voice, that everyone should
have access to this information now, not during
their last days of life. This realization led to writing
What Really Matters. It took me 12 years to finish. I
encountered so much resistance when I first started
writing and shared its ideas that I put it away for a
long time. The world wasn’t ready then. Now it is.
www.amazon.com
END OF LIFE UNIVERSITY
End of Life University came about after publishing
What Really Matters. Promotion was a struggle.
People in the media weren’t interested in a book
about death and dying, Places where I sought
speaking engagements, even in the medical
community, didn’t want to hear about it. So I
created End of Life University, an online forum
where people can learn about death and dying
from a broad range of resources in a resistance
free environment.
www.eoluniversity.com
THE TAO OF DEATH
I heard that Bhutan is the happiest country of
the world and, as Buddhists, the Bhutanese
think of death 5 times a day. I wrote The Tao of
Death, based on Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching, to be an
accessible companion, from which one verse could
be read and contemplated as a daily inspiration to
embrace death’s significance in our life.
www.amazon.com