Response to the project varied. Jenny said that being involved
validated her life. Bert, one of the most grounded and spiritual
in terms of his reverence for nature and being part of the
oneness and wholeness of everything told me, “Anyone who
tells you they’re not scared of dying is lying. Death’s a scary
thing. We have no idea what’s going to happen. We’re going
through this one way door and we’ve no idea what’s going
to be on the other side. And there’s no way to get around
it.” The last time I saw Daniel, he wasn’t making full sense
and knew that he was about to die. Until that point, he said,
“Everything is going to be fine. Birth is the big deal, I don’t
think death is a big deal.” Twenty-four hours later he died.
I showed the completed portraits to three subjects.
Everybody was extremely taken aback when they saw
theirs. It was a very powerful experience. I put Bert’s portrait
on his hospital bed so he could see it as its accompanying
audio from our conversations played and he cried. We sat
silently for a long time. Bert said that he was deeply grateful.
We held each other and he cried again. His tears were of
happiness, sadness, and many other things. To have yourself
reflected back in a drawing is a very unique and unusual
experience, especially when you are on your death bed.
Judith brought her entire family to see her portrait at
a staged exhibition in San Francisco. She has a brain
tumor and is rapidly losing her ability to communicate,
so being able to see her portrait and listen to audio from
a time when she was able to talk about her experience at
a time when she felt more herself was very important.
Through this experience, I discovered that confronting death
brought people further into the Now while reflecting on their
life and their past. This makes sense because suddenly there
is no future. This entire part of planning life, making goals
and the aspirations that go with them is fundamental to the
way we are taught to live; and now planning is over. Harlan
and Bert both talked about the importance of the Now and
how time is really squeezed into this short period when
you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. The
important things become the beauty of the tree outside the
hospital window, the sound of the leaves rustling, and the
sunrise. Simplicity becomes the most beautiful aspect of life.
CLAUDIA BIÇEN
Claudia Biçen is a self-taught British-
American artist living in San Francisco.
Her work has been selected for a number
of exhibitions including the Outwin
Boochever Portrait Competition at the
Smithsonian in Washington DC, the Royal
Society of Portrait Painters at the Mall
Galleries in London and the Pastel Society
of America at the National Arts Club in
New York where she was awarded the
Herman Margulies Award for Excellence.
Fascinated by the human condition,
Claudia has worked with communities
across the world in both mental health
and therapeutic art settings. In 2013,
she was invited to Project 387’s artist
residency where she produced a
contemplative art piece in the forest
exploring the relationship between
transience and wellbeing. Claudia holds
a BA in Philosophy & Psychology from
the University of Oxford and an MSc
in Social Anthropology from University
College London.
CLAUDIA BIÇEN
WWW.THOUGHTSINPASSING.COM
CLAUDIA@CLAUDIABICEN.COM
44 | ART OF DYING