OLIVIA BAREHAM
I cannot help but
love someone
who's dying. Their
vulnerable openness
and sincerity
inevitably help me
to meet them there.
Anyone can midwife the dying. You’re holding the space for somebody to
transition from one state to another, and the only skill that's required is a deep
ability to listen and be present, to accept and receive. Midwifery is an incredible
tool for self-development, an art of dying. And this art can apply that to any other
area of your life—your work, personal relationships, anything.
Inviting a midwife to come in and help steady the ground so that a family can
exhale into the death experience is very helpful. Almost always there is nothing to
say to the dying. By the time I’m called, they have had their conversations within
themselves. It’s mostly the families who have questions to explore and discuss.
The one who is transitioning is usually doing okay.
I cannot help but love someone who's dying. Their vulnerable openness and
sincerity inevitably help me to meet them there. I find my own life becomes more
vulnerably open and sincere. That's why I recommend that everyone midwife at
least two or three people through this process, to spiritually prepare themselves
for their own death.
80 | ART OF DYING