39 . An older man reported that death only became real to him after a lover from long ago had died .
42 . For the LGBT community , the specter of AIDS is never far away .
34 . Story : “ At my father ’ s funeral , the minister said that the reason so many people showed up was that he was a devout , church-going believer . He was not .” She burst into tears .
35 . Many of us wonder and worry about what will happen ( if anything ) after we die . We rarely think of all the time that preceded our birth .
36 . Many who have lived through the carnage of war are ruined . Some seem unscathed . Those who study PTSD cannot say why .
37 . One couple reported that after every funeral they ever attended , they had spectacular , passionate and deeply satisfying sex . They said they were affirming life .
38 . There are laws about scattering ashes . You can ’ t just scatter them anywhere .
39 . An older man reported that death only became real to him after a lover from long ago had died .
40 . Some who have observed a death say they saw a “ spirit ,” or “ energy ” or an “ aura ” or “ light ” leaving the body .
41 . We held a men-only Death Café . Most of the men said that it was easier for them to open up in the absence of women .
42 . For the LGBT community , the specter of AIDS is never far away .
43 . For the African American community , the horror of police violence commingled death with rage and regret .
44 . Atheists , deists and agnostics all seem equally ( un ) comfortable at the prospect of their own or others ’ deaths .
45 . A Chinese death custom is to purchase fake money and burn it so that the dead can bring it in vapor form to the afterlife .
46 . Frequently asked question : My ( family , brother , sister , father , mother , etc .) refuses to talk about death . How can I get them to talk ?
47 . Immediately after mass shootings in the US or abroad , attendance at Death Café Oakland spikes up .
48 . Argument and debate at Death Café Oakland is forbidden . Inquiry and curiosity are encouraged . People freely express themselves .
49 . The death of a twin can be a grief echo chamber and an endless feedback loop for the surviving twin .
50 . “ S / he is in a better place ” is the opposite of empathy for the grieving .
WWW . DEATHCAFE . COM
78 | ART OF DYING