39. An older man reported that death only became real to him after a lover from long ago had died.
42. For the LGBT community, the specter of AIDS is never far away.
34. Story:“ At my father’ s funeral, the minister said that the reason so many people showed up was that he was a devout, church-going believer. He was not.” She burst into tears.
35. Many of us wonder and worry about what will happen( if anything) after we die. We rarely think of all the time that preceded our birth.
36. Many who have lived through the carnage of war are ruined. Some seem unscathed. Those who study PTSD cannot say why.
37. One couple reported that after every funeral they ever attended, they had spectacular, passionate and deeply satisfying sex. They said they were affirming life.
38. There are laws about scattering ashes. You can’ t just scatter them anywhere.
39. An older man reported that death only became real to him after a lover from long ago had died.
40. Some who have observed a death say they saw a“ spirit,” or“ energy” or an“ aura” or“ light” leaving the body.
41. We held a men-only Death Café. Most of the men said that it was easier for them to open up in the absence of women.
42. For the LGBT community, the specter of AIDS is never far away.
43. For the African American community, the horror of police violence commingled death with rage and regret.
44. Atheists, deists and agnostics all seem equally( un) comfortable at the prospect of their own or others’ deaths.
45. A Chinese death custom is to purchase fake money and burn it so that the dead can bring it in vapor form to the afterlife.
46. Frequently asked question: My( family, brother, sister, father, mother, etc.) refuses to talk about death. How can I get them to talk?
47. Immediately after mass shootings in the US or abroad, attendance at Death Café Oakland spikes up.
48. Argument and debate at Death Café Oakland is forbidden. Inquiry and curiosity are encouraged. People freely express themselves.
49. The death of a twin can be a grief echo chamber and an endless feedback loop for the surviving twin.
50.“ S / he is in a better place” is the opposite of empathy for the grieving.
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78 | ART OF DYING