With business or urban groups, I take a much more forceful stance with facilitation because there ' s usually an intended output. Facilitating a Death Cafe takes a very light touch because there ' s no one intended output.
JON UNDERWOOD: Death Cafe attracts a really high caliber of people, amazing volunteers who, like me, are not getting paid. They’ re passionate enough about death and dying to use their own free time to do this work. They bring an enormous amount of integrity to Death Cafe. It ' s a real privilege to work with them.
BILL PALMER: I like that it ' s not monetized. I don ' t want to make money off of Death Café because I think the kind of energy that comes with people doing it as a labor of love is the right kind of energy.
I ' m never bored in a group even when the group is boring because I just love observing the dynamics and the interactions. There ' s an increased cultural awareness about death and issues around death, which is really important to me. Death Cafe meets my need to feel that I ' m doing something that ' s worthwhile.
A lot of times people come with a particularly active issue.‘ My mother died 40 years ago, and I ' m still not over it.’ There ' s a lot of reporting that, over time, because of coming to Death Café, they ' re able to work through some of that. I see a lot of progress in clarifying and resolving grief.
Some people come with deep philosophical and spiritual concerns.‘ Is there an afterlife?’‘ What ' s going to happen to me after I die?’ I hear a lot of reports of some resolution of worry or anxiety. For other people it ' s " I ' ve delayed creating a will, but now because of this group I ' ve finally called an attorney and created one." I couldn ' t possibly quantify it, but I can assure you that Death Cafe’ s impact is profound.
JON UNDERWOOD: I don ' t think there ' s any doubt that Death Cafe is helping people, but I think there ' s a long way to go with accepting death as a part of life. A lot of the issues we face as a society can be tracked back to death, so getting to the bottom of death involves completely turning our society upside down, completely reconstituting our society on a much more compassionate basis. That ' s what I ' m in it for. That ' s what I ' m pursuing. I ' ll take it as far as I can.
BILL PALMER: I don ' t bring my politics to Death Cafe, but it’ s a relevant issue. How you die in America, and I suspect in other places too, is, to some extent, a function of your wealth, your race, your gender. That’ s not optimal for society. Jon talks about turning some institutions and social norms upside down. I agree with that. I don ' t know how Death Cafe does that, but I know it’ s a good starting place.
BILL PALMER has deep coaching, consulting and training experience in cross-cultural settings. He is designated as a Professional Certified Coach by the International Coach Federation and has worked for a diverse set of Fortune 500 companies and the United States military.
Bill is the founder and facilitator of Death Cafe Oakland.
WWW. DEATHCAFE. COM • BILL @ COACHBILLPALMER. COM
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