Art of Dying Volume II | Page 31

taken me a while to realize that the nervousness I have about change and instability comes from that place. I think that I've always had an acute awareness that people you love are going to die. It still affects how I am with people. There were strong instances, especially the first year and a half, when I felt an especially deep connection with Drew. I was hearing him; I could feel him around me. There were all kinds of experiences that had never happened to me before, not when my parents died, never. I would hear Drew telling me things when I felt really, really stuck. It could just be a simple, "What do I do now?" He would tell me, "Go eat something." It would be very basic. "Just take care of yourself, you don't have to solve it today.” My body would get hot with a specific kind of heat. A calm would come over me and I would know Drew was around. I’ve had several psychics describe the helicopter crash. They would say, "I'm seeing a rotation of something." I would confirm, "Yes, that's a helicopter." You can't make that up. I was already having my own experiences but to have other people confirm that for me was even more incredible. It almost feels like a secret that you're walking around with. But that’s not true. There's this other connection that we, most days, don't know and don't see and don't pay attention to. There are signs all day long, every day, if you're looking for them. It wasn't hard figuring out what those signs are and what our language is. Now I know where to find him. Now I know when he's sending me signs. Death is what we make of it. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but the choices that we make with that time can transform our experience with