Art of Dying Art of Dying_Volume III_joomag | Page 40
It’s by living
that we are
40 | ART OF DYING
We had a discussion one night about why they
weren’t going to the zoo or theater anymore; why
they weren’t interested in what they used to do. They
said that it was because life keeps getting smaller,
that in death your perspective shrinks. Why are they
saying this? I don't get it.
I'm becoming increasingly rebellious. Living here has
taught me the importance of doing what you want to
do; not just doing things that are socially acceptable.
I know that I am not going to do what everyone
expects of me because of what I've seen here.
Someone said that life is round. I think if you want to
live the life you want, your character isn't round. Your
character is more like a spearhead. But once it gets
rounded, life gets dull. Then you cannot slash with it.
It cannot penetrate anymore. Lots of people around
here haven't lived like a spear. They have lived like a
shield. They didn’t do the things they truly wanted to
do. Those people have the most regrets.
I have a friend twelve years older than I am. He was
always partying with lots of girls. Then he got married
and has a child, but he’s not round. But his friends are
becoming round. I went to his birthday party and they
talked about the weather and other mindless things. I
wanted to invite them to come to Humanitas, and learn
from the residents that the way they’re living is not
right. I think the more dynamic you are when young, the
better the end of your life. The more passive you are, the
smaller your life and death will also be.
More than sixty residents have passed away since I’ve
lived here. And they always go in clusters of three or six.
It's never just one at a time. If one is dying, you can bet
that at least two more will die within a week.
People die more often from mental than physical
weariness. If you lived to be one thousand years old,
you would be the most unhappy man or woman in
the world because you would be mentally broken.
It’s hard to be the last of your friends to die. They say
things like "I don't want this anymore.” Life becomes
agonizing because they are the last one, and they
have gone to all those funerals.