Art of Dying Art of Dying_Volume III_joomag | Page 30
CAITLIN DOUGHTY
If you come to us,
we start with the
premise that you
want to be more
involved.
you through death and after death. I'm going to be
your social worker. I'm going to be your nurse. I'm
going to be this person who can liaise with your
family to have these difficult discussions. We're
going to know what you want. It's all going to come
together in a way that is meaningful.”
Funeral directors may have a constituency that has
seen a PBS special or New York Times article on
green burial. Families are saying, "Hey, what about
this?" Funeral directors are having a change of
heart. That's wonderful. That's how the revolution
happens. That's how we change the industry. But
there is a concern that the funeral directors who
proclaimed, "You know it's a hippie myth. Nobody
wants green burial” will start to come around and
figure out how to make it work financially for them.
All of a sudden, you have green embalming fluids.
There are ways to see it as a good thing, but I don't
want to see green embalming used when it's not
necessary. One of the essential components of
having a home funeral is not having unnecessary
things done to the body. Not having all of the blood
drained and filled with chemicals, even organic
30 | ART OF DYING
green chemicals. It’s not having the family spend
more money after a long fight of cancer or other
debilitating disease.
In the past, women were in charge of the death
process and of the dead body in the home. It
was part of the domestic duty. Only in the 20th
Century did men sweep in and professionalize the
experience and say, "Now you have to pay for this.
We're going to come in and take the body away.
We're going to wear a suit. We're going to charge
a lot of money. This is now a commercial industry
and by the way, we don't really have room for
women in the industry. You can be the secretary, or
the accountant, or the flower gatherer, but the real
work with the dead has to be done by men."
Women were taking care of the dead just fine
for thousands of years prior to this. For me, it's
connected to feminism. It's connected to my
history. It's connected to women wanting to reclaim
relationship with the dead body.
I started in the industry eleven years ago, and
public advocacy a little over seven years ago.